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How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?
Emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they're feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people.
Emotional intelligence is essential for leadership success. Studies have shown that people with high EI have greater mental health, exemplary job performance, and more potent leadership skills.
After all, who is more likely to succeed – a leader who shouts at his team when they’re under stress, or a leader who stays in control, and calmly assesses the situation?
According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped to popularize EI, there are five main elements of emotional intelligence:
The more that you,as a leader, manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
Self awareness is concerned with the ability to know one's emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drivers, values and goals and recognize their impact on others while using gut feelings/intuition to guide decisions.
If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you're in a leadership position also means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses and it means behaving with humility and empathy.
Self-awareness is the key to resilience, understanding self, responding vs reacting and managing our relationships with ourselves and others
Ways you can improve your self awareness include:
We cannot always control the conditions around us but we can always choose how we respond. To some, this notion sounds unrealistic as we are faced with challenges every day that we believe cause us to react in a certain way.
The truth is that nothing and nobody can make us feel a certain way unless we let them. We choose how we feel. Period.
We often find ourselves reacting to a situation and feeling out of control, as though that experience imposed itself on us without our permission. However we always have the ability to regulate and control our emotions.
Managing our feelings relates to the ability to regulate emotions in both ourselves and in others. Therefore, the emotionally intelligent person can harness emotions, even negative ones, and manage them to achieve intended goals.
Self-regulation involves controlling or redirecting one's disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
Leaders who regulate themselves effectively rarely verbally attack others, make rushed or emotional decisions, stereotype people, or compromise their values. Self-regulation is all about staying in control.
Here are some of the ways you can improve your ability to self-regulate:
EQ is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them. It also applies to understanding what motivates you personally and under what conditions you work best.
Self-motivated leaders work consistently toward their goals, and they have extremely high standards for the quality of their work.
To motivate yourself for any achievement requires clear goals and a positive attitude. Although you may have a predisposition to either a positive or a negative attitude, you can with effort and practice learn to think more positively. If you catch negative thoughts as they occur, you can reframe them in more positive terms — which will help you achieve your goals.
Motivation is made up of:
So how can you improve your motivation?
For leaders, having empathy is critical to managing a successful team or organization. Leaders with empathy have the ability to put themselves in someone else's situation. They help develop the people on their team, challenge others who are acting unfairly, give constructive feedback, and listen to those who need it. Empathic leaders consider other people’s feelings especially when making decisions.
If you want to earn the respect and loyalty of your team, then show them you care by being empathic.
An empathetic person excels at:
How can you improve your empathy?
5. Social skills
Leaders who do well in the social skills element of emotional intelligence are great communicators. They're just as open to hearing bad news as good news, and they're expert at getting their team to support them and be excited about a new mission or project.
Leaders who have good social skills are also good at managing change and resolving conflicts diplomatically. They're rarely satisfied with leaving things as they are, but they don't sit back and make everyone else do the work: They set an example with their own behavior.
Social Skills relates to managing relationships to move people in the desired direction, in particular:
So, how can you build social skills?
So what is your EQ?
There are plenty of tests and assesments out there to measure EQ, in fact there are a few free ones online. The thing is, unless you already possess a reasonable EQ you would not be able to realistically identify how self-aware, how empathic, how socially aware you really are in the first place. So assessing EQ effectively can be tricky.
In some cases 360 degree feedback obtained from colleagues working alongside someone can contrast that of someone's own EQ assessment, primarily because they may lack the self awareness and insight to be able to really gauge how they interact with others. See, it's tricky.
S3 considers EQ to be of crucial importance in the recruitment and selection process and so we assess candidates EQ via open-ended assessment/interview questions and testing. This, in conjunction with thorough reference checking, PRISM Brain Mapping and behavioural interviewing give us the necessary insight to determine a candidates suitability.
Contact us if you would like more info about EQ.
S3 Business Solutions
Call: 03 5261 6237